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I always get a kick out of observing the screen names players use at the
various poker sites. Some are clever, some are suggestive, and some are
downright hilarious. Picking out the right screen name for their new poker
account causes some players no end of frustration, as they must display a name
that exemplifies their personality, confounds their opponents, or displays
their wit to the world.
Pro Names
Some players like to take the name of a famous professional player to
hopefully intimidate their opponents. This generally has the opposite effect,
but I guess their effort can’t be criticized. A swing through the tables
recently turned up names like Negreanoooo, DanielN86, and KidPoker3 from
obvious Daniel Negreanu fans. Phil99, Hellmuthhead, and theBrat are likely
Phil Hellmuth wannabes. TexasDolly1, DoyleT2, and BrunsonFan take their style
from Doyle Brunson.
Fish, Donkey, and Shark Names
Beware the names with the word fish in them. “Imafish” probably isn’t. “GoneFishin”,
“Piranha”, and “Piscivorous” (fish-eating) are just waiting for you to swim
into their trap. “Billythecod” and “TommyTrout” are trying to be cute and
appear fishy at the same time. Don’t buy into their game.
Screen names including “Donkey” or “Donk” are a quick tip-off to a player
prone to tilt. “NicecalluDONK” has probably been burnt by lucky rivered
two-outers too many times to count. Be aware to attack this player if you
witness a bad beat or two.
References to sharks are iffy. Maybe a player is a fan of golfer Greg Norman
and knows nothing about poker. A more likely scenario is that the opponent
knows a little poker, and has a greatly overblown sense of his own ability. It
is unlikely that a true shark would choose such a name. Many of them try to
disguise their skill with a more generic name.
Female Names
Despite the amazing success of excellent professional women players like Annie
Duke, Kathy Liebert, Liz Lieu, and Jennifer Harman, women are still often
considered inferior at the poker table. While it may be true that men win most
of the big events, this is simply a case of percentages. Men far outnumber the
women playing poker, so they are much more likely to win.
Encountering female names at the tables is usually dangerous. A real woman
might be quite a good player, but the real danger is from (good) male players
who try to take advantage of the misperception that the women can’t keep up.
They gain from the reality that opponents are sometimes less aggressive or
distracted against women.
Poker References
Players with the word “poker” in their names are often unimaginative.
“HoldemStud” might be a stud that likes Hold’em or a player who likes both
games. The word “Stud” doesn’t always signify a stud player, but Omaha
references are almost always on target. Mousing over an “Omaha” player’s icon
to make sure they’re not actually from Omaha, Nebraska is a good idea. If
they’re not, chances are they know their game.
Specific hands don’t tell you much. “72Offsuit” is clever, but it could mean a
rock, a tight player who never plays anything except premium hands, or a
maniac who never met two cards he didn’t like. “IonlyPLAY53o” is a name I used
once in a series of league games, named after a joke hand that the players in
the league jokingly called the nuts.
“PocketRockets”, “Big Slick”, and “Cowboys” are clever references to big
hands, but they don’t tell you much about the skills of the player behind the
mouse.
An opponent who intentionally misspells suited as “Sooted” might be someone to
watch out for. These players are making fun of the fish that like to play a
pot with any two suited cards regardless of rank. “But it was soooooooted” is
a common way to poke fun at this tendency.
Names referring to the “River” like “RiveredAgain” or “DangRiver” are a lot
like the “donk” references. These players might just be susceptible to tilt.
Pop Culture and Counter Culture References
Names of movie and television stars, names with the numbers “69” or “420” in
them, or double entendres are juvenile and offensive to some players. While I
don’t care one way or the other, the rule of “Don’t Tap the Glass” should
apply. Don’t risk offending some little old lady or poker-playing minister who
might be the biggest fish you’ve ever reeled in! Don’t let your “BigPoppa69”
nickname make them leave. Your friends might find it hilarious, but others
might not. If you use “420” in your name, I’m probably going to pin you as
someone who really does the “420” thing, and if I’m playing you at 4:30, I’m
going to steamroll you.
So what name should you use? It’s probably best to keep it generic. Online,
nobody cares that you’re a doctor, beautiful, or like the number 69 (or
963217, for that matter). I like the occasional funny name, though.
“Iplaynaked2”, “I tooted”, “Welfare Mom”, and “EmptySeat” have always gotten a
good laugh.
Let’s discuss funny, obnoxious, and ridiculous screen names on the forum!
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