[gilbert921]

I come to this forum for some insight and some place to voice my displeasure. Not with others but with myself, last night I donked off over 2/3 of my bankroll because I was on Full Blown Tilt. For the last year I have created a bankroll, that I was very happy with, I was a true grinder, I would nickel and dime the tables to death, as soon as I was up a certain point, not a large profit, I would leave, I built my bankroll up to a very respectable amount. So last night I move up a level. I've been playing in the $2-$4 table now for a couple months and I was winning consistantly, in fact I never had a losing session, mind you my wins weren't huge (because of my grinder approach) but when you keep making profit every session the grand total rises. Anyway I thought I was ready to move up to the $3-$6. Boy was I wrong. Second hand of my entire $3-$6 dollar life I was dealt pocket Aces. I was playing in a custom table and the max buy-in was $1000. I was at $994 after the big blind just took $6. So here is the scenario, there are 7 at the table including me. The highest chip stack is $2004. So anyway back to the scenario, under the gun folds, +1 folds, then 2 limpers, then a raise from the big stack 6x the big blind. Folds to me where I reraise 18x. All fold to the chip leader, he goes all-in. I quickly call, he turns over pocket 9's. So now I'm stoked. The flop comes 9,K,J rainbow. Oh crap, I just dropped a $1000 in the first 2 minutes playing here. YEs the turn and river were duds. This didn't really put that bad of a dent in my bankroll, but man was I dissapointed, so I rebought. This was my biggest mistake (I had the confidence I could beat this table) however i was fuming so badly I could'nt concentrate, I was playing hands I normally wouldn't touch, and for about the next 3 hrs. I donked off another grand. It was like I was on the outside looking in, this was not me playing. So I decided to call it a night. So this morning when I woke up, it was a new day right (wrong) I didn't know this, but I was still on Full Blown Tilt. My chip stack went down down down. I was reraising with pocket 5's when the flop came down K,K,Q and the player I was up against was tight. What the hell was I thinking, I'm so disgusted with myself that I almost want to puke. The positives I take out of this are as follows: This teaches me a lesson that no one is immune to tilt. Some just handle it better and know when to quit. Second I was good enough to build this bankroll, I just have to pick up the scraps that I have left and rebuild. The positive is my bankroll is still here, I didn't lose everything, I didn't go broke. I have to stand up and build again. The same way I did before, I will play premium starting hands and use position wisely. Good luck to everyone out there playing tonight, and I hope nobody on this site will have to go through this.